There was a time, several moons ago, when I did care what people would say about me. I was concerned about my nationality, my ethnicity, my body type, my sexuality, my choices … and so many more things.
~~NOT NO MORE~~
This is what I have decided to do:
Put things into perspective
Be confident in myself
Learn to control my emotions
Accept myself for who I am
No one will pay my bills, no one will take care of me like I would. Therefore, it’s up to me, as I get older, to be kinder to myself and do what my heart and soul wants me to do.
“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”
~~Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass~~
When people have to cope with difficult situations in their lives, they sometimes reassure themselves by saying that everything happens for a reason. For some people, thinking this way makes it easier to deal with relationship problems, financial crises, disease, death, and even natural disasters such as earthquakes. It can be distressing to think that bad things happen merely through chance or accident. But they do.
The saying that everything happens for a reason is the modern, New Age version of the old religious saying: “It’s God’s will.” The two sayings have the same problem – the complete lack of evidence that they’re true. Not only is there no good evidence that God exists, we have no way of knowing what it is that he (or she) wanted to happen, other than that it actually did happen. Did God really will that hundreds of thousands of people die in an earthquake in one of the world’s poorest countries?
Fortunately, even without religious or New Age illusions, people have many psychological resources for coping with the difficulties of life. These include cognitive strategies for generating explanations and problem solutions, and emotional strategies for managing the fear, anxiety, and anger that naturally accompany setbacks and threats. Psychological research has identified many ways to build resilience in individuals and groups, such as developing problem solving skills and strong social networks. Life can be highly meaningful even if some things that happen are just accidents.
I am a firm believer of this statement: Everything happens for a reason. Many times we aren’t aware why at the specific time. We are confused by events, by unexpected happenings, by the actions and reactions of others.
This confusion makes us question our own beliefs and actions. We wonder if we chose the correct path, if we made the right decision, if we have done the best we can. This applies to all the situations that come our way: professional, personal, financial, environment/natural disasters, social inequalities and injustices, friendships, intimacy.