~~June 23, 2014~~
~A MOTHER’S PAIN~
In her own words ….
To anyone who would like to come my daughter’s services they will be held on Monday June 23rd at Purcell’s Funeral Home 114 West Noble Avenue Bushnell, Florida,
The viewing for just family is from 4pm to 5pm, open viewing for friends will be from 5pm to 6pm, services will be at 6pm. Anyone who would like to come meet my beautiful angel is welcome to do so.
Thank you all for being here for me in this difficult time in my life.
I went to see you this morning and you looked so beautiful in your little dress. I miss you so much my baby girl. I didn’t want to put you down and I never want to let you go. I know I have to go through this pain and I am not ready for this.
I just can’t wonder what could have been and now I dread what is. I don’t know how to do this but I know that you are with me today as you will be for the rest of my life. I can feel your calm wash over me when I look at your beautiful little face. I never thought this would be are life together and I don’t know how I will make it through. All I know right now is how much you mean to me and how much you always will.
I love you my beautiful DeLainey Elizabeth.
Today was very hard to get through and I didn’t want to face what I had to do. I arranged a very special day for all to meet my beautiful lil angel. Making her beautiful outfit for Monday has been hard but it has turned out so amazingly beautiful.
My mother has done a great job to make sure my baby has the best lil princess angel dress. Mommy loves you so much baby DeLainey I cannot wait to see you in your dress grandma has made you. Mommy will hold you soon my angel.
I love you so.
I know that everything has come together and my beautiful little baby girl is going to look so amazing in her angel dress from grandma.
I still can’t settle I feel like I am missing something and I want everything to be perfect for my little girl tomorrow. I so wish I didn’t have to go through what I am but it is now my life. I know that I have to be strong for my little boy which is so hard because I am dying inside. I so wish that I could rewind time and fix all of this.
Earlier standing in my son’s room I looked around remembering all my dreams of him playing with his baby sister in there or them fighting over a toy. All the dreams I had for my two babies just torn away from me in a second.
I look at things differently now, I would rather have the normal bad days I use to have than live the nightmare that I am in. Tomorrow is going to be the second hardest day of my life and I have no clue how I am going to get through it. I cant believe that you are really gone and that I will never have you. I still feel my stomach like you are still safely inside and then I remember that you are no longer there.
I am so angry, in pain and I don’t understand why I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. Why did this happen to us? Why did my little girl get ripped from me? Why couldn’t they save you?
It doesn’t make any sense and I know it never will because I don’t know why.
The only thing that I know is the love that I felt for you the moment I found out about you. I know the way I felt the first time I felt you move or kick me. I know how I felt talking to you in my tummy like we were having a conversation. I know the smile behind my breaking heart when I finally held you in my arms and saw your beautiful face. I know the love that I will feel along with the pain for the rest of my life without you. You are my little baby girl and you will always be that.
I will hold you tightly in my heart a special place just for you.
Thinking of you will help me somehow through all of this pain that is tearing me apart. I love you so much DeLainey I wish I could feel you near me watching me.
I have no clue how I am going to get through this day.
Just one never ending second at a time. This nightmare is not going away and my life is never going to be the same. The one thing I know right this moment is how badly I just want to hold you in my arms. I want to feel you there and never let you go again. I can’t breath and it feels like my heart is ripping into pieces. I know your dancing in the sky with your wings soaring high. I still can’t believe that you are gone.
I love you, my little baby girl.
~~Gone Too Soon~~
~~Uploaded November 2, 2012~~
DeLainey and Grandparents
We ALL are united in your LOSS!!
We ALL are ONE!!